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buster


Buster Benson

No advice column.


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Bronze Happiness
bird poops on plum branch
buster
Which kind of happiness would you prefer?

Gold Happiness: You are the best. You win. But you are a little lonely, and have to deal with being the focus of other peoples' jealousy and indifference.

Silver Happiness: You are almost the best. You didn't win, but you did really well. People can relate to second best, but they also sort of pity you. If you had just been a little better you know you could've gotten the gold... that damn gold winner is an asshole anyway.

Bronze Happiness: At least you ranked. Cheers! Sure, you're nowhere near best, but you're up there and people aren't going to bug you about going on television shows and interviews (which, realistically, you never wanted anyway), and people aren't going to feel sorry for you (as they do for the silver winner).

Non-ranking Happiness: You didn't rank, but you didn't really try either. Leaves more time for other fun things.

Some psychologists believe that Bronze Happiness is the most rewarding type of happiness. I can back that up with my experience in school... I always aimed for A-minuses and found that that was what made me happiest. I didn't have to get a 4.4, in fact I didn't really like the people that just HAD to get the great grades... because at what cost? Being a super dork? Bronze Happiness requires that the happiness come from inside... since it's really not that amazing to get a bronze, but I personally think that it helps you separate the wrong type of reasons to be happy (success, reputation, recognition, praise) from the right types of reasons (enjoyment, creativity, play).

There are more signs of this: the highest ranks of any competitive system are usually owned by people who have sacrificed too much (their personal dignity, their sense of worth, their lives) in order to be at the top. People say that politician that is capable of winning a significant role is most likely not worthy of that significant role. Any business that is capable of dominating a large market is most likely not worthy of dominating the market. Et cetera. Bronze happiness, that's the way to go.

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Sounds like nosneb has defined his own happiness and is getting the job done.

While the bronze level of success probably gives one the most peace of mind, I'm certainly glad that some people aspire to be the best,ones who perhaps sacrificed too much. If everyone had their eyes set on the Bronze happiness, we'd probably wouldn't be writing on computers, enjoying great music and art, taking in the beauty of a poem, flying across the country, having life saving surgery etc...
Innovators/artists have a single-mindedness to them and whatever drives them, be it ego, recognition, money or the simple need to pursue beauty and truth, it is to our benefit that they have pursued their goal with such determination.

that's nice about bronze.

shiest, my email filed you under JUNK. Why? I never check junk and I saw you had sent me 2 on coming to CVILLE. Well, we will probably skip town for good around the 15th of August. I have a wedding on the 6th of August. And anytime before that is cool to me. I'm photographing Loretta Lynn on July 30th- i even got a backstage pass for that. Maybe you can get in too as my intern or my assistant. Maybe my light-meter reader. I think that's it for hard and fast plans between now and then. Please come if you can come.

Re: that's nice about bronze.

Dang, the weekend of the 30th is costing $700... is there a better place to fly into than Charlottesville?

you don't want to fly in to C'ville Airport. You want Richmond. C'ville is super-dinky and super-pricey. good luck.
j

good to know. i'll check it out.

Jim, I'm looking at a ticket that arrives on Friday August 12th and leave on the 14th... is that too close to your imminent move? If not, I'll buy them right now... tickets for the weekend of July 30th were twice as much unfortunately.

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