bird poops on plum branch


Buster Benson

No advice column.

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bird poops on plum branch
they found my damn car. or rather, found that it had been towed weeks ago, with license plates stripped. they won't tell me what condition it's in... i have to go down there and check it out myself. what a pain! and i already spent my claim money! ha.

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what does that mean? was it stolen and then abandonded, or did the city just take your plates off?

it wasn't stolen... though they say it was towed because it was blocking a driveway (which wasn't the case when i parked it), so maybe it was moved. why would the city take my plates off? why wouldn't they just dump it in the river and let me collect?

that's so weird. I don't get it.

me neither. i'm not really that excited to go see the car. i want to close my eyes.

I mean, I understand why your license plates may be missing because those do get stolen, but why was your car in a different location?? did someone break into it just to move it?

Do you need a ride to the car place? I can support you on my arm and you can cover your eyes with the back of your hand, and maybe you can faint when they hand you the keys. It will be very dramatic.

Yeah, if you give me a ride (on your arm or in your car) I will be eternally grateful (well, at least until I die, and even longer if there's an afterlife). They're open 24 hours... and I'll buy you dinner or a pitcher of PBR if you want.

Are you still the prime suspect? Can they positively link you to any tow-trucks, including but not limited to the big pink TOE truck at the Mercer St. exit?

the big pink TOE and I have a history going way back, and some might take my frequent visits and steady cashflow (from me to them) as some sort of sly underhanded way of financing "mishaps"... but I've gone to great lengths to avoid such associations from being made.

What a strange story. I'm on the edge of my seat so please post what happens when you go see it. You won't have to give the claim money back will you? And if you don't do you get to keep the remains of the car?

That is super lame. Just deny certainty that it's yours. No matter what they say. Don't give in. Tell them, "It is impossible to know." Don't believe their "evidence". There is always the factor of potential human error. Typos. Falsified papers. Evil-doers.

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