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bird poops on plum branch


Buster Benson

No advice column.

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advice & change
bird poops on plum branch
True or false: you can only change what you love.

True or false: that above quote is by Jane Jacobs.

True or false: we often don't want to change the things we love. 

And though the math is not quite right, true or false: wanting to change something is a sign of not loving it.

Also, looking for more information on the paradox of advice. 

True or false: we never take advice, but that doesn't stop us from giving it. 

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if we redraw the arrows, which is most true? least true?

1. (original statement)
2. you can only change what loves you
3. you can only be changed by what loves you
4. you can only be changed by what you love
5. you can only love what you can change
6. you can only love what changes you
7. you can only be loved by what you can change
8. you can only be loved by what changes you

I like 6, but I don't think it's true.

Some of those hurt my brain but I think 2 might be the truest.

And this all gets more complicated when you think about trying to change yourself.

heh, but if you are trying to do logic in the math sense, when you see an x = y (like you = what you can change) you get to cancel a bunch of stuff out and it makes it easier :)

I believe that change is partial to empathy. if you have true empathy for something or someone then you must accept it for what it is, right then and there. you must let it be exactly what or who it is and not desire to change it to suit yourself. you do NOT have to accept that what is true for that thing or person is true for YOU though.

also I believe 2 and 6 are true from the above person's post.

why are you trying to change me when you know you can't tell me what to do?

I wouldn't change anything about you.

Because of this post, I have had this stuck in my head all morning:
"What's love got to do got to do with it? What's love, but a secondhand emotion?"

Seriously though philosopher king, change and love ain't got much to do with one another, except that if you make love conditional on change you'll probably get your heart broken.

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