?

Log in

No account? Create an account
bird poops on plum branch

buster


Buster Benson

No advice column.


Previous Entry Share Next Entry
we all want to belong, right?
bird poops on plum branch
buster
Poll #1100624 Feeling connected, escaping isolation

What makes you feel connected to the world? (check all that apply)

Seeing family
0(0.0%)
Calling family
0(0.0%)
Emailing family and friends
0(0.0%)
Text-messaging friends
0(0.0%)
Being social, dating, etc
0(0.0%)
Posting/reading blogs and Live Journal
0(0.0%)
People you see at work
0(0.0%)
Keeping up on sports
0(0.0%)
Keeping up on current events
0(0.0%)
Keeping up on certain television shows
0(0.0%)
Reading certain books
1(4.0%)
Going to certain bars/clubs
0(0.0%)
Recieving recognition for your work from esteemed sources
0(0.0%)
Building your own family
0(0.0%)
Acquiring degrees/certifications/awards
0(0.0%)

When you feel disconnected from the world, what do you do to feel better? (check all that apply)

Reach out to friends and family
1(4.0%)
Get depressed a bit, but do nothing in particular
0(0.0%)
Start over by moving, quitting, starting something new
0(0.0%)
Shopping
0(0.0%)
Carbo-loading/alcohol consumption/other drugs
0(0.0%)
Distracting oneself with television/reading/other escapes of media
0(0.0%)
Getting angry and taking it out on something/someone safe
0(0.0%)
Exercise, de-stressing activities
0(0.0%)
Find new people to get involved with
0(0.0%)
Write, make music, create art of some sort
0(0.0%)

Is it healthy to want to belong / feel connected to people and the world around you?

Yes
25(100.0%)
No
0(0.0%)

What do you think is the most healthy way to feel connected to the world?

What do you think is the most healthy way to re-establish connection to the world when you feel disconnected or alone?



Those last two questions might have the same answer, cause they're almost the same. But, basically, I am curious about the difference between ways to be connected, and ways to self-medicate/re-establish lost connection.

I don't know why I'm thinking about this stuff today.

  • 1
i think you skipped straight to feeling bad after feeling disconnected from the world. i have to say, i feel sort of relieved and refreshed when i find myself disconnected from the world. i like feeling isolated, but that's probably because it happens so seldomly. i have been enjoying taking long walks with charlie because i can think about things in the quiet without all that noise around me. i think this is also why i always daydream about living on an island.

I think we're talking about slightly different things.

feeling connection/belonging <--> feeling abandoned/disconnected

feeling stressed/chaotic <--> feeling calm/peaceful

Actually, I don't really know what I'm talking about. I've had this realization that I occasionally use livejournal to connect/feel connected to the world and it has been making me anxious lately because despite being able to say anything I want to say on here and express myself however I want, I find myself not saying anything. And so I started wondering where I go to in order to connect/feel connected with the world and people. To listen and be listened to, to give and receive self-expression, etc. I don't really have a good answer.

oh true. i don't think i feel abandoned when i feel disconnected. mostly i like to disconnect myself.

i think when i feel abandoned by a person (like, say, when erin got married, i felt abandoned but not for good reason), i reach out to other people. i use livejournal to reach out to people. sometimes i have something to say to one person, and i use livejournal because i want a whole bunch of people to be able to keep up with what i'm thinking about or how i'm feeling, or maybe i just have a feeling and i want to tell someone and i don't know who exactly, so i broadcast to livejournal. i don't think too much about who's out there or why i'm saying something or how i'm being received, instead i just blab and that feels fine. because i know we're all just blabbing, right? and no one's paying all that much attention because we're all just here for ourselves.

see, that was a blab right there.

i think you should just blab more often without thinking too much about it. it's freeing.

you might not feel abandoned when you feel disconnected. but you might feel disconnected when you're experiencing feelings of abandonment. there's the rub.

i think you feel disconnected from a person if you feel abandoned by a person. but in regards to the world -- well, it's your world. the world is the world you created for yourself, and if you feel abandoned by the world, i believe that means you've disconnected yourself from your world. does that make sense? i don't think it is possible for your whole world to abandon you without an action on your part to disconnect.

Goodness, of course I totally agree with that. I was just commenting about the differences in what you and B were saying.

I often think it's easy when we don't feel confident to project our difficult relationships into the world, into every bit of enjoyment and expression listed above. This in turn makes those difficult things bigger and more encompassing than they really are. Which goes back to feeling secure and free when speaking/posting/ect. Hard to do if you don't feel totally comfortable. It's hard to enjoy much on a low morale day.

You know, I clicked everything on the poll list. All of these things make me feel good/connected... unless I'm experiencing feelings of abandonment and blowing them up. Then, I guess that goes back to *needing* to feel a little disconnected so we can wrap our heads around things alone and quickly get back to enjoying wonderful stuff... which was kind of your point above, right?

I can relate to this word for word, I wish I had some answers - for both of us. For some reason I haven't felt comfortable expressing myself here lately and I can't put my finger on why, but reading your post makes me think maybe there are many other people feeling the same way.

Yes, unfortunately the nature of our problem prohibits us from connecting with each other. :)

Oh yes, good point, better stop talking. ;)

recently i've started a program of bioenergetic yoga followed by meditation, and the feeling of renewal, vitality and oneness is amazing . i think that we have been programmed, to a large extent, to extend our egos into the realms of socialization and technology . in reality, we are largely self-contained units .

that is not to detract from the inherent value of human interaction and its ensuing drama . but when you get tired of that, the place to return to is yourself . :)

actually, you have great answers. you just don't feel free to express them right here, so you're doing a dance. you act like you don't say anything for some elusive far fetched untouchable reason. in reality, you don't express yourself because of very specific events.

it's great to be in control of what you say. it's great to project strength. but monitoring what you say for the benefit of few people (aka walking on eggshells) is annoying. that's why you're at a loss with your journaling.

None of these involves traveling. I feel more connected from the world after I have a chance to go on a road trip and hang out in the desert. The more time I spend with loads of people/in the city, the less I feel connected to it. I need to drop out of it all every once in awhile and spend time looking at beautiful scenery, campfires and buffalo.

Oh yes. Forgot about that one! Good good addition, and a great way to renew the big perspective on everything.

Totally!! The most connected I've ever felt to the universe was when I was alone and hiking in the mountains!

I came back to planet city with renewed love for everything and everyone on the planet.

Man your friends don't like sports huh?

listening to certain music helps me. traveling is definitely something that can give you a new perspective.

  • 1