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bird poops on plum branch


Buster Benson

No advice column.

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homeostasis can be your friend
bird poops on plum branch
It seems to me that the best way to change yourself is to change the world.  Cause it's feels easier to become more like the world than it does to become less like the world.  It's easier to right a wrong that was just recently broken than to right a wrong that has always been wrong.  I think it has something to do with how we can put more force behind something if we know it's going in the natural direction.  Like aikido or whatever.  But really, it's mental, we have more energy stored in our minds for things we feel justified in.  It's easier to pay off a credit card that you just charged up than to pay one off that you're used to having a lot of debt on.  We are creatures of homeostasis.  We always want to get back to how we think things naturally are, how things are supposed to be.  That's why we need to change the world in order to change ourselves.  At least, how we see the world.  Because that's all we have of the world anyway.

Do you think that our mental representation of the world is more a reflection of reality or our own mental state?  If the world is cold, difficult, and lonely, isn't it most likely because we feel cold, wrapped in hardship, and alone?  And if the world is sugar and spice then we probably feel something else. 

There just happen to be some ways of feeling that are more widely felt than others.  Certain feelings rule certain geographies.  And then, because of the ecosystem of ways of feeling, there are defenses against certain ways of feeling within those geographies.  Right now, in cities, feeling as if everything were governed by an omniscient being in the clouds is treated as a weak and hostile way of feeling, and the other ways of feeling attempt to root it out.  In some other parts of the country, the opposite is true.  Like little armies of feeling, each fighting for territory because each of us likes to feel welcome in the world.  Feelings of passivity and aggressiveness also shift from city to city, confusing transplants (until they adjust).

We are most often pushed to change by the promise that if we do we'll be more welcome in the world.  Sometimes we move to a part of the world where we feel we'll feel more welcome.  That's one way of changing the world.  Another way is to stay where you are and try to change your feelings about the world.  Is the world safe or hostile where you are?  And does that mean that you must be safe or hostile in response?   If you change the world in your head, then you can use the power of homeostasis and the desire to return to a natural state to your advantage.  And you can choose the your best self as the person who's most welcome.  It's about putting where you want to go at the bottom of the hill.

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"Cause it's feels easier to become more like the world than it does to become less like the world"

it is really hard not being like the rest of the world. it makes you sound crazy. i was told recently that for me to be more sane, i should not be so honest.

I've always wondered about local manners... Here in NYC, there's this unspoken thing were you give people space, so that even when you're sardines on your way home, you avoid looking directly at people and try not to touch each other. To outsiders, it looks like we're being rude or unfriendly or maybe even scared of the other people around us, but to me it's about everyone recognising that we're all constantly jostled by our city and trying to give each other a little space to decompress on the way home. You wouldn't expect people who commute by car to chat each other up or greet everyone politely.

I can't imagine living somewhere like my hometown again. There I felt like I was constantly having to smile politely and listen to inane gossip with people I didn't really want to know any better. Here I can carve out my own thing.

But homeostatis is a dynamic property. Do you respond and react because you want to reach a normal state, or is the normal state just the sum of the reactions and responses?

The normal state is the state that you feel is normal, and that you strive to return to with your reactions and responses. I guess it's a bit of an infinite loop, but the fact that it's actually a dynamic state is what I'm talking about... you should use the power of the dynamic nature of what is considered "normal" to your advantage.

You know what I like about your entries? You always ask the reader a question. It's nice.

Thank you. Does this mean you're gonna answer? :)

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