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bird poops on plum branch


Buster Benson

No advice column.

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bird poops on plum branch
You know how you go out around 1:30am looking for one last bottle of wine but the place you normally buy it from has become a vacant lot and you tell yourself it's probably just because of the absinthe, and you think nothing else of it until the next morning? Unfortunately my neighborhood convenience store really did burn down.

Now I am without convenience. Or rather, I have to walk one more block for convenience. But I know who to call next time I need to rent a fence. Adding contacts like that is what happens when they give you too much memory on your mobular cellile phone. I also have the number for Broadway Locksmith and a dozen different cabbie services (just in case the first eleven go out of business).

Want more? Has the intersection of Olive and Denny become the retail equivalent of the Hell Mouth? The Green Cat Cafe was replaced by something that says "Local Coffee Local Dining". Don't believe me? No? Well I took a picture share of it with my camera phone for you!

And the cursed burger joint will open its reincarnated doors this next week as a naive and hopeful coffee shop slash cafe. The sign there says, "nobody wants this place to open more than us!" I wonder who I have to contact to get involved in the betting pool for its quick demise. What do they think that they can shake the curse merely by engaging the community with letters Scotch taped to the window? Do they really?

At least some things can be relied on.

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+ painted brick is always cursed, ALWAYS. at least the crescent got rid of the "OZ" mural with the ugliest dorothy ever.

+ i'm sad about the samoan ghettomart burning down.

+ did you know that the Food Local Wedgwood Mart changed its name to something equally mystifying like Grocery Deli Market Store?

did you get my text when i told you it had burned down? my bus was going by and yup, there it was all charred. now it's gone. :(

wait...did the crescent just get a sign? or was it always there? damn, do i drink too much? don't answer that last question. but the first questions, do.

No, I didn't get your text. Do you have my right number (ends in 9718)? I think I seem to be often missing your messages so email me if you don't have the right number.

As for the sign... I'm not sure... I don't notice crucial things like that. The only detail that is stored in my brain regarding the Crescent is a lot of purple. Miles and miles of neurons are coded purple in association with the Crescent. Puuurple.

By the way, I'm definitely in for Friday fun.

oops...i sent that text to lele so that's probably why you didn't get it. i didn't text you about it because you were in slovakia and i figured that'd be useless. have you missed my messages in the past? that might make sense to me, but could be really frustrating! i do think your number is right in my phone bc the number attached to your crazyface does end in those 4 digits. so i'll just hope calls to you work going forward. and yay for friday fun! i am so ready. like, now.

I noticed Local Dining Local Coffee yesterday too. I wonder where the Green Cat went.

Yeah, I don't understand why only the places I like get zapped off the planet. Why don't the retail gods zap away Wing Dome instead? Is it a personal grudge against me perhaps?

Was that the mini-mart that was a couple of doors down from Glo's? Damn.

No more Green Cat? Double Damn. I didn't go often, but I liked it being there.

The revamped burger joint looks like an expando-Hot Dog On a Stick. Hopefully lemonade pumping can be viewed from the sidewalk free of charge. Fun times.

That's the one... though I don't even know what the name of it was. The more I hear about it though it sounds like the cashiers there were supplying more than cheap wine and razor blades to the humble and disillusioned people of Capitol Hill... I would love for a conspiracy or two to be written and circulated please.

Totally. I'd like to hear more tales of their homemade Lick-em-Stix and miscellaneous under-the-counter sundries.

HILLCREST samoan ghettomart.

when i first moved to that neighborhood, greggy owen told me, "that's the best market because they let you shoplift there." ha.

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