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Buster Benson

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I'm getting married!
me and kellianne
10 dating faux pas that we’ve more than broken, and happily.
  1. Have a 5-day long first date that involves a kidnapping.
  2. Have sex immediately on the first date.
  3. Say “I love you” on the first date.
  4. Hang out together with the ex-wife on the 3rd date, look at old wedding photos.
  5. Tell her you’re going to ask her to marry you on the 4th date.
  6. Be each other’s dates at weddings during 6th and 7th dates.
  7. Propose on the 6th date with a necklace instead of a ring.
  8. Open a joint banking account on the 6th date.
  9. Have an re-union with her highschool and college exes and go roller skating with them all on the 7th date.
  10. Share everything on Live Journal and Flickr.

From the moment I suggested to Kellianne that we have a “ridiculous distance-spanning crush extravaganza” after hanging out with her in March, life has become a full on, all-in, bi-coastal love letter to the universe.  Life as love as art inside-out and upside-down times a thousand.  It was immediately one of those relationships that seemed to benefit from every other lesson either of us had ever learned in every other part of our lives, as if we were being designed for this from the beginning by some fantastic all-knowing cephalopod at the bottom of the ocean.  You know how you always seem to know what you want out of love and romance, but more often than not you don’t know quite how to make it all happen at the right time in the right ways... with Kellianne it all immediately clicked.  It was more than a click it was a smash an explosion.  We don’t know how it all happened, or why we lucked out against the odds, or why so many things fell right into place at just the right time, but we were both ready enough for each other that we haven’t held back at all... we have since been spinning into an upward spiral of awesomeness.  

It has been mind-blowingly crazy and wonderful in every way.  Absolutely, ridiculously, amazing.  You can’t just make up this kind of thing.  This is what life was invented for... falling madly in love with someone that brings out the best in you while bringing out the best in them... doubling down on love, gambling everything, being in it to win it, going for broke, flying to the moon with the golden ticket.  All the things I’ve been talking about wanting, and then actually getting them.  It’s crazy!

In the first 6+ months of our dating, despite living on opposite coasts and having incredibly busy lives, we’ve managed to visit each other 7 times (not counting the two times she visited Seattle before we started dating) for a total of 73 days of living together (33 days in NY, 40 days in Seattle).  On the other 123 days, technology has made long-distance romancing so much more nerdy and fantastic with video chat, mp3 and photo sharing, and text messaging.  There are 69 pictures in flickr tagged with both of our names, 90 email threads, 100s of text messages, and 1,000s of phone minutes logged.  We have been truly documented by web 2.0 since our first kiss.  We’ve been hungry to learn everything about the other person, from ambitions for the future to myriad tales from the past.  And there are certainly ambitions and tales galore.  We want to know everything, experience everything, explore everything.  We have drunk a lot of champagne.  We’ve eaten a lot of good food.  We’ve racked up a ton of JetBlue miles.  We’ve crazy talked and lazy talked.  We’ve celebrated and vegged.  The last 6+ months have had several big friend and family reunions and we’ve had a chance to meet and be seen by almost everyone from our pasts and presents.  We have yet to have a serious argument despite my attempts to instigate one... okay we almost got into one about the taxi cab strike in NYC a couple weeks ago.  We’re patiently waiting for a real fight.  Mutual friends have never seen us happier.  It just makes so much perfect sense.  We want to spend the rest of our lives together.  Thoughts, emotions, and actions are positively aligned in our mutual love.  It’s, obviously, ridiculous and bold and vulnerable for us to say all of this... but it’s the only thing that we can or know how to say.  I know we must’ve been such nice and good people in our previous lives to have been able to cash in on all this good karma.

What am I trying to say?  That I’m super excited.  That horrible, sad, heartbreaking events can happen and still not break you or make you cynical beyond repair... that they may even make you want that miraculous perfect all consuming thing even more.  That I want to share more than I really should.  That I want people to be excited about love in all its forms that everyone comes up with (because everyone will come up with their own) and know that sometimes it works, sometimes it more than works.

This is the woman I am in love with and want to marry, in all her many forms.  

Here is the above picture with notes.  And clickable pictures

We’re getting married next October, most likely in Delaware.  She's moving to Seattle in January.  Woo!

Here's Kellianne's story.

Congratulations! What an inspiring post about love, and being open to love!

Thanks! Kellianne's doing a better job of telling the story... mine's all adjectives and adverbs! Haha.

I'm crying! at work! you guys are an inspiration in this lovelorn world.

I'm overwhelmed and crazy and want to sweep everyone up. This world is lovelorn and lovesaturated all at the same time... to feel both at once is almost more than one can handle.

I would hug you again if I had you on hand. Such big, big news!

Thank you thank you thank you Samantha. You are awesome.

Well done!

Congratulations to an extraordinary fellow on discovering an extraordinary combination: Kellianne and you.

Re: Congriddularians

Thank you!

Congratulations to you both, this is beautiful and a pleasure to read. :)

Thank you, Nomi!

oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man!

Totally. :)

It's always wonderful to finally find that special person. And I'll quote my favorite line from my fave cheesy SF 80's movie, the Last Starfighter:

"Things change. Always do. You'll get your chance! Important thing is, when it comes, you gotta grab it with both hands and hold on tight!"

PS: Marriage gets even more fun with kids.

Thank you! That's definitely it. After all these years, one of the main things I've learned is to have no hesitation in grabbing the good opportunities when they come along.

wow! CONGRATS!!!!
hmmm... not that you're thinking about this or anything, but what would a kellianne+buster baby look like, i wonder?

wow! great news!

As I said before, congrats! I'm looking forward to the wedding... :)

Thank you. Definitely! It's going to be a huge party! Hahaha.

Thanks you! And thank you for the food and clothing store recommendations last time I was in NY. :)

congrats! i'm definitely a believer in the "when you know you know" theory. it worked for me and it sounds like it's working for you!

Yeah, I'm so surprised that it happened this way, honestly. I didn't think it would ever be possible to know... that knowing was something I lost years ago, with innocence.