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Buster Benson

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day nine of eighteen
me and kellianne
From philosophical book to novel to party game (which was yesterday, undocumented), I've come all the way back to basics... editing my mini-manifesto to myself for how to live according to the ideas I believe in.  It's growing, and not as simple as my previous list of 11, but I think that it covers a more well-rounded set of ideas.  I'll post it a little later for feedback... I'm still fiddling.

New York is tossing my emotions all over the place.  I've been up and down these last couple days, feeling a little unproductive, feeling a little self-conscious, feeling social and then anti-social, wanting to eat gelato and drink rose constantly, walking from 59th to Spring on 5th Ave and Broadway, sitting on steps, watching hot dog carts for their owners as they use the restroom in Bloomingdale's, not buying anything, diligent people-watching, reading bits and pieces of a dozen books in Barnes & Noble for hours, working on contracts, working remotely on McLeod and Robot Co-op stuff while my mind is in 1,000 other places, having the best conversations ever with Kellianne, trying to slice through 15-layer emotional cakes, trying to savor, trying to expand and explore and build this big big big thing, trying to meet everyone in NYC that I haven't met yet, trying to have a good real conversation in a tiny amount of time, trying to think of new ideas, trying to have a breakthrough, trying to show appreciation and love, trying to listen, trying to relax.

Today I decided to stay at Kellianne's apartment and read and write and play with the cat while she works.  It started of a bit unmotivated where I had to look up ways to increase energy on the internet.  I found a couple fun 1-minute exercises that delighted me.  I did a little in-room exercise and relaxation.  Sometimes I think that everything comes down to energy level.  At the bottom energy level, all you can do is live off of previous momentum... if there's a project or activity in motion, you can continue it.   But you can't change course, start something new, or come up with new ideas.  At the middle energy level, you can start new projects, but you can't think of new ideas.  And at the high energy level, you can continue new projects and start new ones but won't make much progress on them... the high energy level is mostly for coming up with ideas, integrating, being creative, social, etc. 

I found a book yesterday that's basically Enjoymentland.  Flow, the psychology of optimal experience.  I think I bought this book before and never finished it, and Cameron and Amanda mentioned it to me last weekend in a different context.  It's much more relevant to me now that I'm thinking about these exact things.  It's eerie how much the book is about exactly what I've been thinking about.  I love it when that happens.

Tonight KA and I are going to Plum for dinner (a few blocks from her house) and wake up early tomorrow to catch the 7am bus to Wilmington Delaware to meet her parents.  Should be interesting!

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I know about that book, but actually I've only read its successor, which is quite interesting. It was part of a really great course on the creative process... let me know what you think of Flow, and if you end up reading them both, whether they are equally compelling or if one hits the mark more than the other.

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