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Buster Benson

No advice column.

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f is for fox
I'm back from my free 4-hour Scientology audit.   Too exhausted to say much other than that I don't think my Scientology dude likes me now as much as he liked me last time.  Oh well.

Here's my favorite new website: Useless Account.

And, my favorite question ever on an account creation form:

Good question!  At first I was like "become a Scientologist" but I would do that for much less.  Second I was like "have your baby" but I don't know if that counts.  Then I thought, "saw off my left arm" but I don't think a million is quite enough.  That leaves me with, clearly, "sell you my house".  What about you?

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Scientology fascinates me and weirds me out at the same time. i have to think about the money question a bit more, maybe it's just too early.

i would die for $1,000,000 but not for $10,000.

really? and where would the money go?

haha. it doesn't really matter, now does it?

at first i was thinking i would bite off someone's finger for a million. then i got really freaked out by that thought. i mean, that i would really do that. because i would. that's twisted.

then i decided that i would chop off two fingers for a million. just not the thumb or middle finger, i need that one for flipping off my brother.

i think i need help.

That answer is too banal for you. "Exchange goods valued at less than a mil but more than 10k". The first thing that popped in my head was "engage in uncomfortable sexual situations". As a self-identified straight man there is no question you could convince me to be in a gay porn shoot for a mil, but some question about the 10k.

The real answer, however is "go to work". Assuming a one time payout of 1mil, my salary being the interest, and an interest rate varying between 6 and 12%, I think that'll cover most of my career.

smart finish. sad but true.

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