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bird poops on plum branch


Buster Benson

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Know your neuroses; know your medication.
bird poops on plum branch
A neurosis is any kind of mental imbalance that causes stress or confusion. I'm trying to think of a way to spin neuroses positively, because really all a neurosis is is a bundle of energy that wants to fix or find something. Cleaning obsessively is a neurosis. Balancing your checkbook is a neurosis. Trying to make Miranda July fall in love with you by writing drafts of emails but never sending them is a neurosis. Fixating on strange drink concoctions is a neurosis. Perfectionism is a neurosis. Detail orientedness is a neurosis. Eating healthy is a neurosis. We feel compelled to do something and don't know exactly why. We get things done. It works. Life goes on. Let's embrace our neuroses... know them at least.

And know how you medicate yourself for them. Self-medication is probably responsible for 95% of my actions. I'm always trying to adjust my outlook or mood or attitude to be more productive and maybe a little more crazy. Drinking coffee is self-medication. Exercise is self-medication. Getting drunk is obviously self-medication. Talking to people is self-medication. Eating is self-medication. Writing your thoughts down on livejournal is self-medication. Watching a movie is self-medication. So is reading a book, calling someone, writing a song, sending a text message, reading the paper, squirming, surfing the internet, screaming, crying, being anti-social, dancing, shopping, dressing yourself, washing yourself, making out, lurking, interacting, and sleeping. We are constantly monitoring ourselves (maybe subconsciously) and adjusting our actions to help balance things out. We are self-medication experts. We should know what we're self-medicating for.

Do you know your neuroses? Do you know your medication?

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i sense a twelve monkeys reference in here somewhere.

I saw that movie but I forget what it was about. Was Brad Pitt being neurotic again?

Brad Pitt says:

"Drugs! What'd they give you? Thorzine? Haldol? How much? How much? Know you doses. Know your doses. It's elementary."

worrying about things that i have absolutely no control over. thats my neurosis. i self-medicate with beer and television.

i also work out more than most people i know. i would imagine that has its place as a neurosis.

a tendency toward pessimism, i medicate with daily affirmations!

wait, those affirmations are a neurosis, i medicate that with... um, livejournal...

this is an ugly cycle. i don't think i should go any deeper.

yeah, that's what i'm discovering too... an onion of neuroses layered on top of each other. i have a tendency towards pessimism too, but i medicate with crazy talk.

i medicate negativity with nudity. and booze. which also medicates nudity!

this is fun!

I am too intense and too driven and too much of a perfectionist. I get down on myself for not performing up to speed, I feel guilty when I'm relaxing, and I work too hard.

I obviously used to medicate all of this with drugs, but now I see a shrink twice a week, try to walk slowly, watch lots of trashy TV, hang out with my boyfriend (who is probably the most positive influence on me relaxation-wise), talk to people on the phone and read fiction. And LiveJournal.

i worry about everything, whether or not i can do anything about the outcome. running is definitely a neurosis for me. eating, or not eating.

i self medicate by caring for others, by running (so it fits both), drinking alcoholic beverages, reading books. and probably other stuff.

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