bird poops on plum branch

buster


Buster Benson

No advice column.


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bird poops on plum branch
buster
Damn.  I should've spent the last 8 years writing about my life as it was happening instead of the thoughts I was thinking.  I mean, I've always taken pride in the past in not posting too much about my personal life online, instead being the more abstract and imaginative, but looking back on it now, versus going back and reading more personal entries about life and love and drama, it's a letdown.  These aren't the stories that made me.  These thoughts have been the steam that drifted weightlessly off of the crunching, smashing, burning, toiling engine underneath.  I should've been exposing the paradoxical tootsie roll center rather than philosophizing about technology and making fun of other people.  I mean, I go all the way back to 1999, and earlier except that my first diary on diaryland got deleted by the creator because I pissed him off.  And after him I started pissing off the "A-list bloggers" who I was actually just jealous of because they had a bigger audience than me.  Haha, now I'm reliving some of that nostalgia.  Lele started it all with drunkgirl.  Remember that?  Our beginnings are barely remembered by the way back machine.

Maybe it's a moot point.  I spent so many years in a zombie state, maybe there was no tootsie roll center to write about because I had lost it.  But it would be nice to have something to go back and read with any sense of emotional attachment.

So maybe I'll start writing about life a little more now.  Now that it's interesting, and weird, and full of change.  It's the all-new no advice column.  This is your warning, defriend me if you want to get off on this stop.  Ha.

A parallel task will be to go back and read all of the archive of people who I love, like, admire, or am curious about.  This includes a lot of you.  So go back and lock down or open up filters, however you desire.

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Holy crap diaryland is still around? I used to love andrew when he wrote on benicetobears.com. Ahh those were the days...

Yeah, he's a funny guy. And I was totally a jerk to him, even though I never met him. I did run into him a few years ago in Austin and almost apologized to him, but figured it was easier to just leave him alone.

Yeah, diaryland, weird that it's still around. Did you ever have a diaryland diary?

I think I made one but was too upset about how crappy their templates looked. I've had this LJ since 1999 i think? A few years ago i deleted every entry and started writing in a blog at deleteyourself.com which I have also since deleted. But yeah, like you it was nothing about my personal life and 99.9% making fun of people and being a jerk.

I set up a password protected blog in January as a new years resolution where I would write down exactly what I did every day and that lasted about 3 weeks before I got tired of going through all of the security I set up to make sure no one read it.

I had the same reaction to LJ when it was all yellow-lined notebook paper templates. You deleted deleted? I lost a lot of writing from changing systems so much: diaryland -> diary-x -> 3-4 custom made blogs -> typepad -> livejournal -> more custom made blogs... but a couple years ago I tried to find as many different tables in as many different databases and import them all to typepad, where they currently reside in broken link and image purgatory. So tough being an early adopter blogger, dude.

Why not just use something on your computer for your private diary and not worry about all the passwordy protectiony stuff? That's what I do.

I liked it being web based because I could write from home or at work. Do you have any desktop based journal suggestions? MacJournal perhaps?

I use devonthink. It can do passwords, and has a pretty awesome search and other features. Malcolm Gladwell uses it to write books. I just use it to complain about people.

When I was not-quite dating my current boyfriend, I went back and read all of my public lj entries. It was actually a pretty clear record of what he was/is like.

Maybe you just are abstract. It's not like you've been writing empty entries, and sometimes people can't write out the gooey center -- it's too terrifying and scary to be there. That doesn't make you a zombie or qualify you for hard core psychotherapy. Maybe it's totally boring for you to write out the people you saw and the places you went.

I'd find a way so I wasn't bored by it. Maybe. I hope. Life is interesting... its retelling and recording should also be able to be interesting? Though, it's true, I am abstract in general. I realized in school that my brain doesn't remember details, only generalities and abstractions. It makes school and life easy, but telling a good story difficult.

I like reading your nebulous, high-level thoughts. At work I say "analytics can tell you what, but it's user research that tells you why." Similarly, the things that happen are the things that happen. I'm personally more interested in the meaning we take from them.

That said, the best stories are a masterful combination of both. As a very abstract thinker/writer myself, I really have to coach myself to give my audience *something* to hold onto now and again!

Thank you. I guess I just feel my pendulum swinging from the abstract back to the emotional. It usually only impacts my relationships and conversations, but this time I think it will affect my writing too. I'm done with ideas for a while... I want to get into the dirt a little. Of course, I still write about this transition in and abstract way...

i had a diaryland account long long ago. i can't find it though, it must have been baleeted.

i've been on here since 2002. go ahead and read, nothing's flitered. it's also not very interesting.

Yeah, that bastard deletes journals that fall out of use. Haha. You could try going to look for it on the way back machine. What was your address.

That reminds me, someone from diaryland that was super emo and easy to make fun of, click.diaryland.com, recently messaged me on myspace. I think she's 23 now... that's weird.

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